Withdrawal
by Schreiberin44
Summary: What if Ressler runs out of pills in the middle of a mission, getting him to not only risk his life but Liz's life too? Will Liz be able to help Ressler fight his demons? My take on Resslers addiction to painkillers and how things can get south during a mission. A lot of Ressler angst and pain in this story.
1. Chapter 1

Withdrawal

Hey guys!

Finally I am back with a new Blacklist story. As there was no (physical) Ressler whump for now I decided to write this story before (hopefully) starting the Ressler whump Season 2 story. Nevertheless I LOVE the new storyline for our favorite agent! He final seams human...something I had really missed in Season 1.  
I really think his character development is outstanding in this season and the chemistry between him and Liz...I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited!

I really hope you like the new story and please please please please leave a review so I know if you like the story.

**Remember English isn't my fist language and I am working pretty hard on this story so if it's possible don't be to hard for some spelling and grammatical errors.**

Despite that I have to thank **AUSSIEOKIE** for spoilering me with the latest scenes and developments. Without her this story wouldn't be possible! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I sooooo love to discuss our Agent with you :o)

So now enough from me. Hope you will enjoy reading it!  
**  
Chapter 1 – Pain**

Ressler looked up from his paperwork tiredly as Liz knocked on their office door. He cracked a half hearted smile before lowering his head again. He was ashamed for what had happened in Warsaw and he was just more than thankful that Liz hadn't talked to Cooper about his failure.

„I am sorry." Liz said looking deeply into Ressler's eyes.  
„For what?"

„In the Taxi in Warsaw...I came at you pretty hard. When Katja was down you talked her through the worst. We could have lost her."

Pictures of Audrey swept back into his mind.

**Audrey**.

He hadn't been able to save her. She was gone. She had been bleeding badly too but he hadn't even been able to talk to her more than a second before he had lost her forever. The blood from her stomach. Their unborn child. Ressler tried not to choke on the image, not to wince in pain.

Pain – That was all he was feeling.

**Meera**.

He could still feel all the blood socking through his fingers. The cut throat. The pain on her face.

Pain – That was all they had been feeling.

**Katja**.

What if he had failed saving her live too? All this woman he should have protected in the first place. Her goodbyes. The way he had told her that she wasn't going to die.

The scream of pain as he had saved her from bleeding to death.

Pain – That was all that he had done for them.

**Liz**.

Today Liz's life had been in danger just because he hadn't been able to move, because his drugged mind hadn't been able to react as the chaos began. What if he had lost her too? She was by far the only friend he had ever had despite of Audrey and Bobby of course. The way she had screamed his name full of pain.

Pain – That was all he deserved.

Ressler could feel Liz eyes still resting on him. He knew that she was suspicious. She had been since he had been late for work. He had never been late for work but the pain had just been to much. He just hadn't been able to get out off his bed until the pills had finally kicked in and kept him upright for another day of his life.

He closed his eyes just for a minor second to get his walls back up, to not give away his emotions. Something he was usually quite good at.

"You are right. I was amazing." He said, a bright faked smile on his face. Liz just rolled her eyes, laughing at his words. She needed to believe that he was already. He couldn't just tell her what was going on, it was his problem, not hers.

Ressler turned a little to make sure Liz had really left his office before he got the pills out of his desk. He closed his eyes and tried to fight back the urge to take them, to feel better, to forget that he had risked Liz life today. Ressler jaw tightened. He knew that he needed to stop all of this but he just couldn't.

It had all started as he had woken up in the hospital. The pain in his leg had been constantly killing him. With Audrey by his side he had done his best to make a full recovery even if the doctors had always told him that it wasn't something he should concentrate on, that he should focus on being able to walk without a cane someday. He had returned to work way to fast and Cooper had been the Boss he had always been. Ressler was an Agent and he needed him in the field, even with his injury. And with that it had all started. He had started to take painkillers back then...to get back to the job, to give 100 percent again. After a while he had been able to reduce them and finally he had been able to get his job done even with the constant pain he was feeling in his leg. He wasn't a wimp. He had never been a wimp. And Audrey had been there, pointing out that she was worried about him and the medication and so he had stopped.

And then Audrey had died and with her his unborn child. He had pretended that he was doing okay but how was a person suppose to deal with losing the love of his life, his unborn child and his two best friends in only one day? He had started to take the pills again. First of all to stop the aching sensation in his leg but despite that to fill the complete emptiness in his life.

And then Meera had died under his watch. He had told her to split up, he hadn't protected her. How was a person supposed to deal with that? He didn't have any answers and soon the pills became his only friend filling the emptiness in his life.

Since a few hours Ressler was completely aware of the fact that he had lost control, that he had been lying to himself for so long. He couldn't just stop taking them, even if he was still forcing his mind to believe he was. Without thinking any further Ressler took two more pills. He needed to finish his paper work and without them he wasn't even able to sit on his chair for a second longer. His leg was killing him again. One of the weird things in taking the painkillers was the fact that the pain was nearly not dealable when they where wearing off. With Audrey by his side he had been able to work through the day without any pills, now he was just feeling pain without them.

Ressler knew that his mind was playing tricks on him but the pain felt just real and he couldn't stand it anymore.

Gladly it wasn't a problem for him to get the pills. He just needed to change the doctor, show them his leg and tell them what had happened and he would get his prescription without any more questions asked.

How much he hated himself everytime he came out of a drug store with a new bottle of pills in his hand. He felt ashamed for lying and he felt like crap. Just like he had told the psychologist. He felt like crap constantly. Lying to Liz wasn't making this feeling any better. Ressler couldn't know that he would get himself and Liz into real trouble soon...

As Ressler got home in the evening the events of Warsaw completely mixed with the images of Audrey lying in his arms, bleeding to death. He kept seeing Liz bleeding, screaming his name, begging for help. Ressler hurried towards the toilette throwing up violently. How much longer he would be able to life like this? He crawled together in front of the toilette. This room felt save now. It was cold, empty and desolate...the perfect picture of his life right now. 

….to be continued!

So guys, let me know...did you like the beginning? Do you want me to continue?


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much to my reviewers. Here we go with Chapter 2! Have fun reading and hopefully leave a review :o)

**Chapter 2 – Reality **

Ressler had tried his best to catch some sleep at night. After falling asleep on his cold bathroom floor for just a few minutes the images of Audrey and Liz had snapped him back into reality. At one o'clock he had decided to take some sleeping pills.

"Yeah Ress, you can be so proud of you!" He said to his image in the mirror. He had dark circles under his eyes and he was beyond pale, even for his tan. No wonder Liz was already suspicious. She was a profiler at least and a damn good one.

Normally Ressler had always been okay with the lack of sleep he had been constantly receiving since joining the task force. There had always been daemons disturbing his sleep. Even after Audrey had died he had never used sleeping pills but now with the effects of the painkillers he just needed them every now and then to come down in the evening. Ressler knew that it was a dangerous circle. Painkillers to get through the days, sleeping pills to get through the night and alcohol to push the effect off both of them. He was done pretending that he was doing okay. He was far away from okay.

As Ressler finally entered the office the next morning he was almost in time. Liz was already sitting in their office looking up as he entered.

"Good morning." She said, watching him curiously.

"Good morning." He cracked a smile before heading to the kitchen. Coffee. He definitely needed coffee right now. Mornings where getting heavier.

He just grabbed his cup as Aram called out for them so he made his way directly towards Aram's desk.

"We have a trace on Aron Musafi." Aram started as soon as they where all standing together, waiting for news.

"What? Where?" Ressler asked looking towards the screen, waiting for further informations. They where trying to trace Aron down for a few weeks, they definitely needed his statement in a chase. "Right here." Aram said as the map was building up on the screen.

"Right where? This seems to be in the middle of absolutely nowhere." Liz said, only spotting woods on the wall.

"It is. There has to be a small cabin in the middle of the woods. Musafi called and told Rismadi that he was staying right there." Aram continued.

"And we know he is really there because…." Ressler asked still not believing they had really found him.

"Tomographic cameras confirmed that there is a person." Aram said, switching towards the images a satellite had just send.

"Alright. Any way we can get there fast? I want this thing done as soon as possible." Ressler said, scanning the screen and the area again.

"Wait is this PG county?" He asked.

"It's just woods." Liz said not believing Ressler had really made out a location out of this nothing on the screen.

"I spend my whole childhood in this woods. Do you got some good boots on you?" Ressler said a smile on his face even if he felt beyond smiling right now. He knew that he was running out of painkillers. In his daze this morning he had forgotten to grab his new bottle out of his nightstand. A thing that had never happened before. In his desk there where just 4. He would need two in a a few hours….he could only hope that they would return before 6 o'clock. 

"You want me to take over?" Keen asked looking worriedly at the tired Ressler behind the stirring wheel. She had been watching him silently for a while now and what worried her most was the fact that he hadn't even noticed her eyes on him. It seemed like he was to busy concentrating on driving.

"No I am good." His answer was fast but his eyes where telling her that something was wrong. He seemed to be in pain now that she was watching him again. His jaw was tight, his whole body seemed on edge.

"You sure about that? You look like hell." She added, carefully not to push him to far. It was a tinny line with Ressler and she knew that.

"Maybe I get the flu. I don't know." He lied, trying his best to concentrate on the streets. He felt like crap. His body was longing for the pills and his leg was nearly killing him.

"Res?" Keen said again, getting Ressler to snap out of his thoughts. If she had been talking to him or if she had asked something he must have missed it. He just couldn't concentrate for a second.

"Come on, you are driving like my grandmother. Let's switch places." Keen said while he manoeuvred the SUV towards a parking space, killing of the engine.

Liz was already opening the door before he could just think about it. His reaction time was really off. He just starred at her with a blank expression on his face. His face was covered in sweat and he felt his hands trembling. His stomach was sending painful cramps through his body what made him feel even more nauseous but worst of all was the intense pain he was feeling. Not just in his leg, everywhere in every single part of his body. His shirt was burning on his skin, his tie was nearly killing him. He loosened it quickly, getting Keen to look at him with her worried eyes.

"Ress what's going on?" She asked, a grim look on her face.

"Nothing. As I told you maybe the flu." He could see it in Liz's eyes. She wasn't believing a single word he had just said. He needed to take his pills. He needed to show her that he was okay but how should he manage to take them with her watching him closely? He knew that he had to wait for a while longer, that he had to ask for a quick stop at a fuel station so he could go to the bathroom. How should he pretend that he was okay until they finally reached one? They where already in the middle of nowhere. 

"Great we are doing this trip when you are not feeling to good." Liz said and he could hear that she was annoyed. He would be as well. Ressler unbuckled his seat belt before hoping out of the car, wincing immediately at the pain that was instantly floating his body as his leg just barely touched the ground. He could feel Liz's hands on his shoulders, holding him upright while his legs where starting to give way. With the last bit of energy he pushed himself upright, leaning against the car heavily.

"Ressler!" It was this special sound her voice had when she said his name in a situation like this. She was worried, she was angry, she was scared.

"I'm good." He mumbled, getting the weight off of his leg.

"Damn it, I must have pulled something." He lied while facing her again. Her eyes where sparkling. She was beyond worried right now.

"In your leg?"

"Yeah. It's nothing." He tried to brush it off in his typical Ressler way.

"I really think we need to talk." Liz said, her voice stern.

"Right now I think we need to find Musafi."

"Like this?" Liz asked pointing at him.

"You are not even able to stand upright. You are running late for work, you nearly get me killed while watching, you are telling me you might get the flu in the middle of nowhere and now you just pulled something in your leg? How the hell are we supposed to catch Musafi Agent? You are normally the one lecturing ME about giving 100 percent. You are far away from 100 percent Mister formally known poster boy FBI."

Resslers eyes twitched a little on her words. Liz was absolutely right. He wasn't just risking his life , he was risking her life too but right now there wasn't the time for an emotional breakdown and despite that he wasn't the type for an emotional breakdown. Not at all. Even if he was feeling like that at the moment.

He didn't say a word before limping towards the passenger site. Damn it he wasn't even able to walk normally, to put full pressure on his leg.

"Ressler, I said we need to talk." Keen said as he manoeuvred himself into the passenger seat while she was still standing outside, watching him with a grim expression.

"I don't." He just said.

"That's it?" Now she was in the drivers seat, looking at him angrily.

"Come on, I want to be back on a normal road before it get's dark."

"I thought we where long over this point. Not talking to each other, not being honest with each other. Why are you closing up on me again?"

"Because I am tired and we got a job to do okay?"

Liz exhaled through her nose before she started the engine again, or at least tried it.

"What is it?" Ressler asked as it didn't come to life.

"How am I supposed to know?" Liz snapped, trying again and again. On the forth try the engine finally came to life.

"Remember to not kill it off when we arrive at the cabin." Ressler said watching Liz.

She just nodded.

This would be a silent drive.

….to be continued!

You got a second? Than please tell me what you think :o)


	3. Chapter 3

So guys, here we go with a new chapter! I really hope you will enjoy it. Thank you so much for the reviews. I changed the description...hope there will be a few more reviews!

Chapter 3 – Blood

„Can you please pull over? I need to use the bathroom." Relief was rushing through Resslers body as he finally saw his opportunity to throw in some more pills...his last pills.

"You need to throw up?" Liz just asked, getting a stern side glance from Ressler.

He got out of the SUV, carefully this time to not put to much pressure on his leg. He knew that Liz was watching him closely from the vehicle. He was a stubborn person and he was used to pain so Ressler bit hard onto his lip while trying to walk almost normal even if the pain was nearly killing him, getting his eyes to water.

As Ressler got back into the SUV he handed Liz one of her favorite candy bars, getting Liz to raise her eyebrows.

"I am trying." Ressler just said not apologizing even if he felt the need to apologize for his behavior, for everything he was putting her through.

"Trying what?." Liz asked, not getting what he wanted to tell her.  
"To give 100 percent."

"I trust you with that. And thank you." Liz said before driving off towards the cabin again.

Ressler tried his best to not let Liz see that he was feeling a million percent better now. This would only make her more suspicious and he knew that.

"You seem better." Liz said right in this minute. Damn it. She was good.

"Found some cold and flu tablets."

"You found them?"

"I got them with me this morning as I was feeling the first effects kick in." He hated to lie to her. "Wise man." She said before looking at the GPS again.

"I think we need to take a left here." Liz said, leaving the street for a rough track deeper and deeper into the forests.

"Save place to hide out here." Ressler had to admit while Liz kept driving down the path for about 30 minutes now.

"How is your cabin here in PG County?"

"Far away from civilization but not that far. We have at least a proper road till about 10 minutes away from the cabin."

"Look at that, I think it's ahead of..." Liz started to say before the first bullet hit the SUV out of nowhere.

"Damn it!" Ressler cursed, getting his gun out of his holster as well as Liz. The two of them made eye contact quickly before opening the doors almost simultaneously, carefully hiding behind them.

"Federal Agents. Aron Musafi stop shooting. We are Federal Agents!" Ressler called out, his voice clear and steady. New gun shots where ringing out, hitting a tree not far away from Ressler's head. He ducked behind the door, looking over at Liz.

"I think we are not quite welcome here. Remember we need him alive." He said before calling out again.

"Musafi we are here to get your statement, there is nothing you need to worry about. Stop shooting and we can show you our badges." Liz now tried but still there where shots ringing out.

Ressler lifted his hand before gesturing towards Liz that there where at least 2 active shooters. Liz just nodded, now recognizing what Ressler just told her.

"Maybe Gingers Gang found him before we arrived?" Liz gestured getting Ressler to nod. He was thinking about the same theory at the moment.

"Shots are coming from the front side of the cabin only. We should be able to get behind it. Let's move." Ressler said before starting to move in, seeking cover behind the trees. No one of them was actually wearing a vest right now. There had been no need and right now there was no way to get to the trunk and put on the vest while they where taking fire.  
The shooters where still aiming on the vehicle so with the shadows of the trees Keen and Ressler where able to make their way towards the other side of the cabin without any problems.

"You take the back I take the front." Ressler said before touching Keen's arm for a second.

"Be careful." He said, getting her to look at him full of surprise.

"You too." She said before splitting up. 

Ressler was just about to open the door as it smacked open out of nowhere. He stumbled backwards and just seconds afterwards he could feel a feet connecting with his arm, sending his weapon to fly off the porch in an instant.

Ressler tried to block his attacker off but his body wasn't reacting as his mind wanted him to. Without a chance a hard fist collided with his jaw before a feet kicked him into his stomach, getting him to crumble to the floor. He could feel the pain washing through his body. Normally he would have fought back, he would have avoided the punches but his body just wasn't reacting. He kept laying on the ground, shielding as much of his body as possible while he could feel a feet connecting with his stomach again, getting him to fight for air. It was all knocked out of his lungs immediately.

"Ressler!" He could hear Liz calling out for him. He could hear it in her voice. She needed help too and he was just lying here, unable to react while some thug was beating the shit out of him. "Ressler!" Liz's voice again, a scream. A shot He needed to do something.

For Liz.

Ressler managed to turn around now facing the thug for the first time. It was obviously that they where to late. He was definitely one of Gingers man. But that wasn't what got to Ressler. It was the fact that the blows had stopped while he was now looking directly into the barrel of a gun, pointing at his head.

"What now Federal Agent?" The voice behind the gun said, getting Ressler to close his eyes.

Audrey.

For the first time in a situation like this Ressler felt completely calm, nearly relieved. He wouldn't fight back. If this guy was taking his life away now, fine. He was more than ready since the day Audrey had died in his arms.

A shot rang out and Ressler waited, he waited for the pain to go away, for a light to come, for something but the next thing he was aware off where two hands touching his breast.

"Ressler! Talk to me. Are you okay? Ressler!"

Liz.

Ressler opened his eyes again meeting the heavily bleeding face of his partner.

"You are bleeding." He cracked out, not aware of his own state. It didn't matter to him. All that mattered was the fact that Liz was hurt. Hurt because he hadn't even tried to fight his attacker of, hurt because his drugged body hadn't been able to do anything.  
"Broken nose. Are you okay?" Ressler managed to nod. Of course he would pretend that he was okay. Liz needed medical help. Now.

Ressler got into a sitting position with Liz's help, wincing at the movement. His ribs where bruised at least. Maybe broken but there was no time to think about that right now.

"Let me check for any injuries." Liz said but Ressler just shook her off, getting to his feet with her help.

"We need to look at your nose." Ressler said before looking inside the house.

"Aron and both attackers are dead." She said quickly while Resslers eyes where searching the room. "Great." He said before guiding Liz inside.

"Sit down here. I will grab the first aid kid out of the car." Ressler gently helped Liz to sit down before he got back outside. He bend down for his gun, immediately sinking to his knees as the pain in his abdomen became to much. He cried out as silently as possible before remaining in place for a few more seconds. His left hand firmly pressed to his right side. His eyes caught the drops of blood on his hand. Liz. Ressler stumbled back to his feet before making his way towards the car. He got the first aid kit before marching back towards the cabin, realizing halfway through that the engine wasn't running anymore. Liz. It was his first priority to help Liz before he could concentrate on a way out. He needed his mind to focus. Now.

Ressler tried to hold back the emotions that where threatening to bubble to the surface as he saw Liz sitting on the chair. She was leaning forwards, blood was running from her nose to the floor. It was clearly broken. It was his fault.

"Let me take a look." He said gently before getting her face into his hands, trying his best not to give away the pain in his ribs as he was kneeling down in front of her.

"Okay it doesn't look to bad, I don't need to replace it." Ressler said gently brushing back Liz's hair. "But the bleeding is bad. I need to set up a tamponade to stop the bleeding." Ressler explained with a soft voice before getting everything he needed out of the first aid kid.

"Take this. It will help with the pain." He said, handing Liz his last painkiller. He had just taken one during their stop to save one if it would take them longer. All that mattered for him now was that Liz was feeling better. He could see that she was in a lot of pain due to her nose. She swallowed it dry before Ressler got her nose patched up properly.

"Come on we will get you comfortable. I will head back to the car, see what I can do about it." Ressler said as soon as he helped Liz towards a couch that was standing in the sparely furnished cabin.

"I killed the engine." Liz said her eyes raising in shock.

"I know. As I said I will have a look. There is nothing to worry about. Just lay on your said, let the painkillers kick in. I will be back in no time." Ressler said before leaving the cabin fighting back the urge to run towards the car.

He needed to know that there was a way to get back home, to get back to his painkillers. He tried to start the engine...his head resting on the steering wheel out of frustration, out of fear. There was nothing...the were stuck here.

….to be continued! 


	4. Chapter 4

Okay guys, what is going on here? I can see a bunch of people reading this story but only my friend aussieokie left a review?

I really love to write this story, I do but posting it here without any feedback...no way.

This is a new attempt with a new – **short** – chapter to ask all those readers to leave a review please.

Reviews are my drugs...they keep me writing.

**Chapter 4 – A good plan**

There where many things Donald Ressler was capable off. Repairing a car definitely wasn't one of those things.  
Ressler exhaled deeply while staring down at the died engine in front of him. He didn't have a clue what was going on or what he could do to repair it. Again he checked his phone. No bars. Of course there where no bars. He had never watched a movie or read a book where it had been different.

Ressler brushed his hands through his face, wincing as he hit the spot the fist had meet his cheek bone. He knew that it was already turning purple but it was nothing towards Liz's nose.  
How should he pretend that everything was fine, sitting here in the middle of nowhere together with her? He knew that he couldn't hold his guard up for to long. He could clearly feel that the painkillers where slowly losing their effects. His leg was already aching. It wouldn't take long until he couldn't get any pressure on it without the urge to scream in pain...he had to think. They where supposed to be back this evening. If they wouldn't show up till tomorrow Cooper would send someone to search for them. They would be at least 22 hours stuck out here in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Ressler knew that the signs of withdrawal would kick in fast. Damn it he had to think!

Ressler made his way back to the cabin, exhaling deeply before nodding to convince himself that he was doing the right thing. With a heavy, jet faked, limp he entered the cabin, getting Liz's attention immediately.

"What happened?" She asked alarmed, getting into a sitting position slowly while he dropped down in a chair next to her wincing in pain as the burning sensation from his ribs filled his body again.

"Damn it, I slipped. Now I really pulled something!" Ressler said, feeling terrible for lying at her like this.

"Let me take a look." Liz said but Ressler just shook his head.

"Later. We need to make a plan now. The car isn't working. We will be stuck in here until Cooper sends a search and rescue team. In fact we will be here for another 22 hours or even longer."

"Yeah I already figured that out."

"How is your nose?"

"It's fine. It's broken but I will life. I am more worried about you...as usual."

"There's no need for that." Ressler said, getting to his feet way to quickly in an attempt to check on the supplies for the next hours.

He grabbed onto the backrest of the chair, trying to take a calming breath. His ribs where killing him and he felt the first attempts of nausea. This would be far away from easy.

"No need for that huh?" Liz asked before walking over towards him.

"Let me take a look at you."

"We need to check the supplies."  
"Ressler!" He turned a little seeing the angry look on Liz's face and the so worried look in her eyes. "I slipped, I pulled something. Other than that I am fine."

"And what about the pain in your ribs?"

"What?" Ressler asked surprised his face just a blank expression.

"Oh come on Don. I know you for how long now? Almost over a year. We have been through a lot so don't even try to trick me."

"We need to check the supplies." Ressler tried again but this time Liz nearly screamed at him.

"No we need to check on you damn it! How could you be so stubborn?"

"I was born like that." Ressler shot back cracking a smile.

"Yeah I am pretty sure you where. This is nothing a human being can learn! Come on, I know that there is a bedroom over there. Why don't you lay down so I can check on your ribs?"

"They are not broken."

"Fine than I will check on your leg. Ressler did I protest while you wanted to check out my nose? No. Not with a single word. So just drop your pride for a second and let me take a look so I know what's wrong with my partner because I am not believing a single word he said. Despite that you look horrible. I am pretty sure you are running a fever."

Liz nearly pushed him towards the bedroom and now Ressler didn't even have to pretend the limp in his leg.

The pain was back...

….to be continued!

Now PLEASE leave a review!


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you guys for leaving all those reviews! I know that it's really hard sometime to find the time to leave a review...but getting no response really made me guess if I should continue or not. So as you can see the story is still on and here is the new chapter. I really hope you have fun reading it. And yes please leave a review :o) 

Chapter 5 – Falling to pieces

„And now what? Should I get undressed?" Ressler said raising his eyebrows as they reached the bedroom.

"I want to take a look at your ribs and your leg. So for that parts of your body...yes!"

Ressler slowly started to open his shirt, struggling to lift the T-Shirt a little higher so Liz could finally see his bare chest. He had refused to lay down and so Liz was now standing closely in front of him. She helped him with his shirt before inspecting his chest. Her hands where gentle but cold as she finally touched him, relieved that she couldn't find any broken ribs.

"See I told you. Nothing broken just banged up."

"The area around your stomach is already turning purple." Liz just said looking up at him with worried eyes.  
"The guy liked to hit me there."

"Now let me take a look at your leg, check for any swelling." Ressler got his shirt back in position but refused to get his tie back on. He sat down onto the bed before getting his pants down. Liz inhaled deeply as she spotted the scar on his leg for the first time. It wasn't pretty.

"Oh Don." She said and met his eyes for a second. She still had nightmares seeing him in this box every now and then.

"Yeah it's no wonder I pulled something." Ressler said nearly screaming in pain as Liz tried to lift his leg to check for motion problems.

"This looks serious." She said worried.

"Yeah your nose looks serious too but we will life, right?" Ressler said getting his trousers back up. "Right." Liz said before helping him back to his feet.

"You can lay down here. It's not like we need to do something for the next hours."

"No. I am good. Do you want to lay down and get some rest?"

"No."

The supplies where quite well stored. At least there was some canned food and two bottles of water. Ressler checked for painkillers but had to give away his last hope as he found non.

As there was no electricity in the cabin Liz was relived that they had enough candles to make it through the night. She knew that nobody of them would be able to find some solid sleep this far away from civilization. They had both seen enough of this cruel world to find some sleep here.  
Donald recognized that Liz shivered a little. He could feel the cold getting to him too but due to the slowly upcoming affects of withdrawal he didn't know if it was really cold or if it was just him. Despite that he could feel sweat on his forehead. Cold sweat. He started to feel miserable.

"You want me to set up a fire?" He asked gesturing towards the chimney.

"To be honest? Yes. It's cold in here and it's getting cooler with every minute that passes."

Donald got to his feet again wincing at the pain in his leg that was now controlling his whole body. He tried to make a step but his leg just gave way and without any warning he crashed to the floor, catching most of his weight with his arms, so he didn't slam onto his bruised ribs.

"Ressler!" Liz screamed, rushing towards him within seconds.

"I am good. I just lost balance. I am fine Liz, really!" Donald said, getting back to his feet with Liz's help.

"Come on, sit down, I will get the fire started." She said while Donald didn't fight back. He was in no position to fight back.

Liz glanced back at him from the chimney, recognizing the cold sweat on his face too. She couldn't shake off the feeling that he was looking more and more miserable every time she looked at him.

"You sure you are okay?" She asked getting a small nod from Ressler. Of course he was nodding.  
"We can switch positions. Laying down would be a lot better not only for your leg but for your ribs."

"I am good."

"Oh come on Don! You are sick and far away from good!" Liz said slowly losing her patience with him. "

"And it's not going to get away if I lay down now." Ressler shot back, closing his eyes as another dizzy spot hit him.  
"Hey." Liz said, stabilizing Ressler on his chair.  
"You are not going to pass out on me are you?" She asked, getting him to slowly shook his head. She could see the sweat all over his face now and noticed just now that he wasn't burning up like she had supposed. Instead he was icy cold.

"Come on lay down before you collapse to the floor again." Liz said just receiving a head shake. "I'm good." Ressler said again.  
"Yeah you are perfectly fine." Liz added full of sarcasm before getting back to the couch. She watched Ressler calmly who was looking more than sick right now.  
"What is going on with you?" She asked, not getting an answer. Ressler himself was to focused on the task to not throw up right now, right here. He had to calm his stomach down, had to keep the tremors in check.  
"I don't know." Ressler said after a few more seconds. He had to pull himself together.

After several minutes had past Ressler was able to look back at Liz again. He could see that she was worried but he could also see the anger in her eyes. He knew that she hated his attitude to always pretend that he was alright but what was he supposed to tell her right now?  
-Sorry but I am a freaking drug addict in withdrawal?-

"Be honest do you think it's internal bleeding?" Liz said trying to let her voice be as calm as possible.

"No it isn't. Really. I think it's from the flu or any other kind of infection. I am sorry to put you though this."

"Don't be ridiculous. It's not like you planned on getting sick or beeing stuck here in the middle of nowhere." Donald had to swallow. 

-I didn't plan on running out of painkillers and slip into withdrawal...no. Damn it.-

They remained silent for a while, only the cracking of the fire echoing in the silence. Ressler was thankful for their silence. He had to fight his own fight. Dealing with Liz and holding up his guard was nothing he could handle right now. He could feel Liz's eyes on him. They where burning holes into his forehead. He knew that she was watching him closely.

A loud and undefined sound from outside the cabin made them jump. Ressler struggled to get to his feet, careful not to put any pressure onto his left leg. He crabbed for his gun, upholstering it, only to recognize that Liz was already moving towards the door. He git his teeth and tried his best to move forward as smoothly as possible. Liz was gesturing to open the door on the count of 3 and Ressler nodded, grateful for the adrenaline that was now kicking in. As soon as Liz opened the door he aimed his gun into the darkness, not able to see anything. Liz was by his side within a second, shining a flashlight into the darkness. She didn't miss the fact that the gun was shaking violently in Resslers hands now. Ressler was the first to lower his gun. "False alarm. It was a beaver." He said watching as the little animal fled from her porch back into the save darkness.

"Your leg has gotten worse." Liz pointed out, grabbing Ressler around his waist after watching him for a second, trying hard to get back into the cabin.  
She wanted to guide him towards the chair again but due to the adrenaline Donald knew that he couldn't hold back the urge to throw up any longer.

"Bathroom." He said quickly, his body language telling Liz that she needed to hurry. As soon as Ressler slumped down in front of the toilet he started to throw up violently, feeling Liz's presence in his back.

How should he be able to hide it any longer?

….to be continued!


End file.
